So Close
by berrywarbler
Summary: Blaine didn't want to go to Finn's wedding in the first place, but Rachel had reminded him that Kurt wouldn't exactly let him off the hook. Besides, he'd do anything for Rachel.


**A/N: **This is like the second time in a week, HI GUYS! I'll stop writing them soon though. Anyways, I wrote this for Rach (Rach1989) because she is a wonderful person and asked for a fic based on the song 'So Close' by Jon McLaughlin. Hope this is what you were hoping for darling!

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><p>Blaine shifted uncomfortable in the pew, glancing around at the crowd that had been slowly gathering in for the past half hour. He had shown up an hour ago since Kurt was needed-as best man and brother to the groom, he had to keep Finn from having some sort of panic attack. Then again, if Blaine had been marrying Quinn Fabray he'd probably be having a panic attack too. He hadn't been particularly keen on the idea of this wedding-after all, his allegiance was towards Rachel, but Rachel had assured him that she was going to be an adult and attend with maturity and grace. "Besides," she had laughed when Blaine said they could skip it, "do you think I want to miss what a disaster that'll be? They'll probably get to the whole 'do you take Quinn to be your lawful wedded wife' part and he'll be like 'NO, WAIT, I CHANGED MY MIND!' So really, it should be fun for everyone." Blaine had just smirked, not wanting to point out that Quinn and Finn had been dating relatively happily for almost three years now.<p>

"So we're going then?" he had asked, resigning himself to a night of 'Oh, you must be Kurt's boyfriend! Aren't you just darling?' or evil glares. He wasn't entirely sure which was worse.

"Yes. Do you really think Kurt would let you off the hook for this anyways?" Blaine shook his head, and she gave another small laugh, and he just smiled at her, even after almost five years still effected by the simple ring of it.

But that was months ago, when the invitations had been sent out and Rachel had even been surprised to get one. Kurt and her had been shopping to make sure she got the perfect dress-something that Blaine couldn't even begin to understand, other than agreeing that she looked incredible once she tried it on. The olive green silk looked like it was made just to fit onto her body, and if there had been any doubt in his mind that he thought Rachel Berry was attractive it was gone in that instant.

She hadn't shown up yet-the wedding wasn't due to start for another fifteen minutes, but she was rarely late. They had flown together from New York, Rachel able to take the time off from her small theater job and Blaine off for the summer before graduate school started. Kurt had come back home after graduation, to help prepare for the wedding and to procrastinate the dreaded _more school or a career _question. Blaine had barely seen him in weeks, and he figured he should probably be trying to get as much time with him as he could, but instead he sat waiting in the middle of a church waiting for Rachel to arrive.

He heard her before he saw her, talking to what sounded like Tina from a few rows behind him. He willed himself to stare straight ahead, to not turn and run over to her and pull her to the seat with him. They were 22 now, they had to act like reasonable adults. He was still dating Kurt, he couldn't let his feelings for Rachel be shown.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked, interrupting him from his thoughts. He just smiled and slid over, letting her into the pew with him. "How long do we have left before the most unholy of unions?" she muttered quietly so only Blaine could hear. She may have long been over Finn, but the fact that he was now marrying Quinn still seemed to irritate her. She had admitted that it felt like defeat once, when they were drunk. That although Rachel loved her life of singleness and working her way to fame in the city, Quinn won the boy she fought for for so long. She may not have loved him anymore, or wanted any kind of future with him, but she still felt like she lost.

He glanced at his watch, grimacing at the time. "Apparently it's supposed to start any minute now."

"Aren't the groomsmen supposed to be at the front?" she demanded, looking around-the church was full now, people around them gossiping quietly together. He saw a few people he remembered from his brief time at McKinley, waving over at Mike who was a couple rows in front of him as he turned around.

"I don't actually know?" Blaine responded, unsure. "I've never been to a wedding before, so I don't know how it works." She huffed, resigning herself to facing forwards again and folding her arms across her chest. "I told you we didn't have to come," he reminded her quietly.

"No, I need to see this happen. I need to solidify that Finn won't come to his senses and realize I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him." Blaine fought back a chuckle-he knew she was right, but laughing would only infuriate her. It was only a minute later that the groomsmen came down, Finn looking nervous and seeming to not notice Rachel in the crowd-though Blaine was unsure as to how, she was clearly the most gorgeous girl in the entire room. Kurt sought them out however, as he took his place next to Finn, shooting Blaine a grin as Puck shifted from foot to foot on Kurt's other side. Blaine thought it was a weird choice for a groomsmen, the father of the child your future wife bore in high school, but it wasn't his wedding so he didn't express his opinion.

The bridesmaids came out a few minutes later, Brittany, Santana and Mercedes looking beautiful in their dresses. Quinn followed after, the entire room standing up to watch as she made her way down the aisle towards Finn, looking like the picture perfect bride. Blaine wondered for a second how Rachel would look when she one day made the same walk, shaking the mental image as quickly as it had come. That was a dangerous path, one he couldn't afford to look down. Instead, he tried his best to focus entirely on the ceremony as it was, tried to think only of the act being performed in front of him.

He tried to ignore Rachel grumpily sitting next to him.

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><p>"He didn't have to make out with her," Rachel sighed as they walked into the hotel ballroom for the reception.<p>

"He didn't make-I thought you were over Finn?" Blaine asked, looking around for their spots.

"I am! I just don't see why he had to marry _her_."

"Because he loves her Rachel," Blaine answered, grabbing her hand as they pushed their way through the guests to a table towards the back. Kurt had apologized after the ceremony that they wouldn't be able to sit together, he had to be at the head table with the family and the wedding party, but save him a dance, would he? Blaine had just nodded before Rachel pulled him away, signaling that it was time to leave.

"I hope the food is good," she said mostly to herself as they sat down, a waiter bringing around glasses of champagne. Blaine took one eagerly-the quicker he found himself drunk, the quicker this became a lot less boring.

"I just hope this doesn't go to long," he replied, downing half the glass. Rachel raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, tapping her fingers on the table to the song the band was playing while everyone found spots. It wasn't long before the wedding party made their way in, someone Blaine didn't recognize introducing 'for the first time-Mr. and Mrs. Finn Hudson'. He had to admit, both looked extraordinarily happy, and even Rachel seemed to soften after a few minutes of watching them laugh up at the main table. "Feeling better?" he asked as he signaled a waiter to bring him another glass of champagne, and Rachel shrugged.

"I mean, I guess. I think it'd be different if I was seeing someone, it'd be easier."

"You guys have been broken up since high school," Blaine reminded her, but she didn't say anything for a couple minutes.

"Still," she finally said, breaking him out of a reverie, "it just sucks. You and Kurt have each other," he had to stop himself from snorting at the idea of him and Kurt being a legitimate couple at this point, letting her carry on, "Finn is getting married to Quinn, Puck's got some new girlfriend who he's apparently crazy about, even Jesse is engaged. It seems like every guy I ever had anything with in high school is happy with someone else."

"It's not high school anymore Rach," he said quietly. "You'll find someone-someone great. I know it." He ignored the dull ache in his chest as he reassured her that there was someone else out there for her, wanting to instead take her into his own arms. But she wasn't supposed to be his, wasn't supposed to be the object of his affection. So he kept quiet as she drank her own champagne, waiting for the buffet to open up.

The party was as good as he could expect, the food delicious and the alcohol copious as it found its way to Blaine. It even seemed kind of fun after awhile, Rachel and he taking the dance floor after the first few dances. This was something he was used to, having fun and letting loose-they did this kind of thing in the city all the time now, whenever she had a night off. Kurt had stopped coming with them a year ago, saying that Blaine's drunken dancing tended to embarrass him. Rachel didn't care, she was just as crazy as he was once she learned to let go and just have fun. Kurt was talking to Finn up at the table now, completely uninterested in joining Blaine even though they hadn't seen each other in almost a month, had barely spoken in over a week.

They started playing a slow song, and Rachel started to head back to their table when Blaine reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to him without giving it a second thought. "Dance with me," he asked, looking her deep in the eye as he did. She nodded, stepping closer to wrap her arms around his neck, his hands falling to grasp her waist as they started dancing. She let her head fall on his shoulder, and it took him all his brain power to remember to breath. He had been this close to her before-she was a touchy person, he was a touchy person, they hugged and cuddled and danced and everything all the time. But there was something almost _intimate_ about the moment, the way her jasmine perfume wafted and seemed to overpower him. She made a small noise, one of contentment that he heard sometimes when it was late and they were watching some sort of musical marathon and she was falling asleep.

He kissed the top of her head, noticing Kurt's weird look in their direction as they spun slowly around the room. He ignored it, because really-who was Kurt kidding these days? He was far more in a relationship with Rachel than he was with Kurt. He wanted to be in a relationship with Rachel more than Kurt, but admitting that would destroy so many things-potentially his relationship with both of them, his entire identity, the foundation he had been working so hard at rebuilding with his parents. So he reveled in moments like this, when they could be together like this, where he could pretend he was her boyfriend.

He let himself dive into his daydreams while they danced, let himself imagine what a life with Rachel would be like. He didn't allow this often, it usually ended badly for him, but sometimes when she was close to him he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but picture taking her out on dates, calling her to see how her day at work went, telling her he loved her without it being seen as something platonic. He'd imagine taking her hand in public, kissing her gently, telling the world about how fantastic and talented and gorgeous the love of his life was. Sometimes he'd forget for a few minutes that this wasn't his life, and he'd come close to blurting out the truth-come close to saying everything that would more than likely destroy them.

The song came to a close, but Blaine didn't want to let go. He closed his eyes, the images of a happy ending floating away as the band kick started another fast song. "Blaine?" Rachel asked, looking up when he didn't part from her.

"Sorry," he said, dropping his hands from her waist and putting them in his pockets. "Spaced or something," he lied. She just smiled at him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the middle of the dance floor, pulling him to where Kurt had appeared, kissing Blaine on the cheek.

"Hey," Kurt whispered, and Blaine smiled tightly, watching as Rachel moved towards some cousin from Indiana or something. He had been so, so close to having her for his own. And now all he felt was so, so far.


End file.
